Buy some Cap’n Crunch cereal.
Eat the cereal before it gets too soggy without cutting your mouth.
Win or lose?
It’s the Dorktor.
Sprinting through the wasteland, brandishing a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Amanda! And she gives a booming scream:
“I’m going to smack you until you deflate, and add a notch to my bedpost!!”
Skulking through the freeway, wielding a vorpal blade, cometh Casanova! And he gives a bloodthirsty scream:
“I’m seriously going to spank you beyond mortal comprehension!”
Rampaging along the cliffs, attacking with a studded crowbar, cometh Larry! And she gives a cruel cry:
“I’m going to clobber you with such zeal, you will not be able to see straight!!!”
Lo! Who is that, stalking over the terrain! It is Aziraphale, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a cruel cry, his voice cometh:
“I’m going to pummel you until there are no limbs left to break!!”
Running over the cliffs, brandishing two hardened pitas, cometh Crowley! And he gives a spectacular roar:
“I’m seriously going to punch you past the point of no return!”
((Sprinting along the freeway, brandishing gilded boxing gloves, cometh Screech! And she gives a mighty grunt:
“I’m going to spackle you with wasabi!!!”))
Who is that, skulking amidst the tarmac! It is Irene, hands clutching a vorpal blade! She bellows apocalyptically:
“This one’s for you, mom! I hereby void your warranty, and send you back to God!!!”
Zang! Who is that, rampaging through the tarmac! It is Thereichenbachfraud, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! And with a mighty roar, his voice cometh:
“I’m going to fuck you until you acquire caulrophobia, and hijack your momma’s airplane!!!”
Who is that, rampaging across the hotel lobby! It is Donna, hands clutching two hardened pitas! And with a booming howl, her voice cometh:
“I’m going to hump you like it’s a new extreme sport!”
Stalking amidst the steppes, clutching a burning branch, cometh The Darktor! And he gives a bloodthirsty howl:
“I’m going to blow a bullet-hole in you the size of God!!!”
It wasn’t supposed to, but as soon as you made dealings in your own timestream, BWAM.
I’m sorry, C. James, but every man has had to take a few beatings in his lifetime. Aaand, you’re growing up quite fast.
((The story of my life:
- Get on Tumblr
- RP with anyone who for some unknowable reason doesn’t hate me
- Wait patiently (sometimes for hours) for favorite RPers to come online
- They finally do
- Don’t message them because they have someone else they like more
- They post an Open RP
- Don’t reply because someone better will
- Whine about being a wimp to everyone
- Somehow lose no followers though all of them would do well to leave))